I received a mailer from a large-ish local church today. It says in giant, red letters,
SO, YOU THINK YOU KNOW JESUS?
And is followed by,
There are lots of stereotypes out there and misconceptions about Jesus and who He really is. Come join us at [church identity] as we explore who Jesus, Himself, claims to be. It is interesting, every revelation that Jesus makes about His identity has a direct correlation to your deepest human needs. So, if you do not have a church home, join us on this adventure of discovery over the next six weeks. I believe you will encounter the Savior for which your heart longs.
The message is from the "lead pastor," which I'll presume means he's in charge and not that he's a
dense, dull, poisonous fellow. (I've met him because he happens to be the father of one of my students, and -- to be fair -- he's certainly a nice guy.) Although I probably wouldn't do it anyway, I'm much more reluctant to send a response due to "coincidences" like this, or perhaps because several of the higher-ups in my job also attend this church, or both. But it sure would be fun to pick apart this thing.
There are lots of stereotypes out there
And in your church, I'm sure.
... of stereotypes out there and misconceptions about Jesus ...
So the stereotypes are out there, but the misconceptions are not? Or are the misconceptions about Jesus and the stereotypes not?
There are lots of stereotypes out there and misconceptions about Jesus and who He really is.
But you have it right, of course. The other 30,000 sects of Christianity have it all wrong.
Come join us at [church identity]
No.
as we explore who Jesus, Himself, claims to be.
You've had 2000 years to figure it out, but you're still exploring? and using the same methods and materials that have been around for hundreds or thousands of years? You must really suck at this; why would I want to join
you?
It is interesting,
It is?
every revelation that Jesus makes about His identity
is contradicted elsewhere in the Bible.
has a direct correlation to your deepest human needs.
So if I need to get laid, Jesus' identity has a direct correlation to that? Or do I just need a sword and not peace?
So, if you do not have a church home,
Hey, that's me! I don't have a church home; I live in an apartment. But I'd make much better home of a church than you guys do a house of "education."
join us on this adventure of discovery over the next six weeks.
Wait, wait, wait. Again, you've had 2000 years, but you think that you can knock the rest of it out in just six weeks? And as you meet just once a week, you really mean six days? You want to complete such an amazing accomplishment in a mere six days? Who do you think you are... God?
I believe
a lot of things that are silly and untrue.
you will encounter the Savior for which your heart longs.
So it's not really about what the Savior is really like, it's what I long for in a Savior? Then why should I show up? Why sit there for six weeks just to be told what I already know I want? What a waste of time.
