Preaching to a Bear

Freethinker jokes, anecdotes, etc.
Post Reply
JamesH
Posts: 158
Joined: Wed Feb 15, 2006 9:41 pm
Designate the number of cents in half a dollar: 0
Location: Springfield, MO

Preaching to a Bear

Post by JamesH »

Subject: Preaching to a bear....

A Priest, a Pentecostal Preacher and a Rabbi, all served as Chaplains to the students of the University of Montana. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.

One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a ... Bear.

One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a Bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.

Seven days later, they're all together to discuss their experience.

Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches and has various bandages on his body and limbs, goes first. 'Well,' he says, 'I went into the woods to find me a Bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that Bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So, I quickly grabbed my Holy Water and sprinkled him. And Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The Bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation.'

The Pentecostal preacher Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he claimed, 'Well, Brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I found me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that Bear wanted nothing to do with me. So, I took hold of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So, I quickly dunked him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. 'We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus.'

The Priest and the Reverend then turned to the Rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. He had over 200 stitches in him. He was in real bad shape. The Rabbi looks up and says, 'Looking back on it, Circumcision may not have been the best way to start.'
JamesH
"Knowledge will set you free, but freedom comes with responsibilities." I know that someone had to say that before me.
Post Reply