Unlimited Sarah Palin Roast

[Dardedar]

Dick Cavett | A New York Times Blog

November 14, 2008, 10:00 pm

The Wild Wordsmith of Wasilla

Electronic devices dislike me. There is never a day when something isn’t ailing. Three out of these five implements — answering machine, fax machine, printer, phone and electric can-opener — all dropped dead on me in the past few days.

Now something has gone wrong with all three television sets. They will only get Sarah Palin.

I can play a kind of Alaskan roulette. Any random channel clicked on by the remote brings up that eager face, with its continuing assaults on the English Lang.

There she is with Larry and Matt and just about everyone else but Dr. Phil (so far). If she is not yet on “Judge Judy,” I suspect it can’t be for lack of trying.

What have we done to deserve this, this media blitz that the astute Andrea Mitchell has labeled “The Victory Tour”?

I suppose it will be recorded as among political history’s ironies that Palin was brought in to help John McCain. I can’t blame feminists who might draw amusement from the fact that a woman managed to both cripple the male she was supposed to help while gleaning an almost Elvis-sized following for herself. Mac loses, Sarah wins big-time was the gist of headlines.

I feel a little sorry for John. He aimed low and missed.

Link

[L.Wood]

.

US Secret Service Blamed Sarah Palin for Death Threats Against Barack Obama


Sarah Palin's attacks on Barack Obama's patriotism provoked a spike in death threats against the future president, Secret Service agents revealed during the final weeks of the campaign.

The Republican vice presidential candidate attracted criticism for accusing Mr Obama of "palling around with terrorists", citing his association with the sixties radical William Ayers.

The attacks provoked a near lynch mob atmosphere at her rallies, with supporters yelling "terrorist" and "kill him" until the McCain campaign ordered her to tone down the rhetoric.

But it has now emerged that her demagogic tone may have unintentionally encouraged white supremacists to go even further.

The Secret Service warned the Obama family in mid October that they had seen a dramatic increase in the number of threats against the Democratic candidate, coinciding with Mrs Palin's attacks.

Michelle Obama, the future First Lady, was so upset that she turned to her friend and campaign adviser Valerie Jarrett and said: "Why would they try to make people hate us?"

AlterNet story click here.

.

[Dardedar]

DAR
Damn this is good:

Sarah Palin Will Never Be President -- Trust Me

The small smear of red on the otherwise blue electoral map looks more like a minor bloodstain on a dirty Band-Aid than anything resembling a national political party. Who voted for McCain/Palin in bigger numbers than they even voted for Bush/Cheney? Only one shrinking group: uneducated white folks in the deep south and a few folks in Appalachia. Take away the white no-college-backwoods-and/or-southern McCain/Palin vote and the Republicans would have been approaching single digit electoral college oblivion.

Sarah Palin will never hold national office nor will any Republican at the presidential level for a long time to come. Why? Because America has uneducated jerks in it but is not a nation of uneducated jerks. The Republicans are done, hoisted on the petard of their own "southern strategy."

The Republican Party is only a step away from becoming the fringe of the fringe, identified more with cross-burning weirdoes wearing hoods, folks like the Alaska secessionist party, all those gun owners stocking up on assault weapons before the "Socialist/United Nations/Obama/Muslim" conspiracy comes to fruition, than with anything remotely like a serious national political force.

The Republican Party--and I speak as a former lifelong Republican who, up through the 2000 primary campaign supported John McCain and even worked for him by arguing his case on various conservative and religious radio stations--is now the toy of the Rush Limbaugh windbags. These folks include outright crazies (such as Sarah Palin's Assemblies of God pals who are waiting for Spaceship Jesus to rescue them and/or rooting out "witches" from their midst), white racists and a few not-very-bright attention seekers, including Ann Coulter, Sean Hannity etc.

Read their blogs! Listen to their talk radio! You'll be in the twilight zone of front page tabloid fantasy on a par with Bat Boy Attacks! headlines. Bill Buckley roll over.

The Religious Right, the racists, the anti-gay hate-mongers are now not only marginalized but thoroughly out of step with even members of their own former constituency. For instance the Gordon College student newspaper (Gordon is an influential Evangelical College north of Boston) endorsed Obama this year. Many young evangelicals voted for the Democrats. James Dobson, Fox News, Limbaugh et al. were utterly powerless to do more than stir up hate. They are losing the next generation of their "base."

Meanwhile many former Republicans--like me--ran to Obama as fast as our legs could carry us and away from our willfully "we're not an elite" moronic former party. Republican commentators such as David Brooks and George Will mourned the loss of the Republican center. Others noted the Republicans have become anti-intellectual. "Anti-intellectual?" They wish! How about simply anti-literate?

Meanwhile the fringe of the fringe is holding meetings where they'll talk to themselves and look at the "facts" of their alternative universe in order to figure out "what went wrong." These are the same "leaders" (like William Kristal) who think Sarah Palin has a big political future!

Sarah Palin will never be president because the right wing of the Republican Party has perfected the art of believing their own bullshit, starting with the idea that Palin has a future. Palin and her fans don't know it yet, but having reduced itself to a grim angry joke, the Republican Party has also divorced itself from American politics and, along with that dirty used Band-Aid, is destined for the garbage can.

What's the best defense against the rube/Palin voters derailing the Republican Party forever? If the statistics of who voted for whom are correct, the education of white people in the deep South and their economic empowerment is the best answer. Maybe it will take a black Democratic president to figure out some affirmative action program that can get our southern born-again white underclass into colleges and thereby save the Republican party.

Huffpo

***
Frank Schaeffer is the author of CRAZY FOR GOD-How I Grew Up As One Of The Elect, Helped Found The Religious Right, And Lived To Take All (Or Almost All) Of It Back. Now in paperback

[Betsy]

David Letterman said:

"Sarah Palin blames the media for her loss of the election. The MEDIA. Yeah, it's the media's fault she entered beauty contests instead of libraries."

heh.

[Betsy]

we may all laugh at her, but she'll laugh all the way to the bank.

$7M book deal

[Doug]

we may all laugh at her, but she'll laugh all the way to the bank.

$7M book deal

DOUG
Yes, but lots of bad people have a ton of money. That doesn't bother me. I just want Palin to be the face of the Republican Party for the next four years or more, so the Democrats will have an easy time winning future elections.

George W. Bush ruined the "I don't know a damn thing but I'll have a beer with you" candidacy. The Republicans play that angle to their detriment.

[Dardedar]

Palin Offers Thankfulnesses

Alaska Governor Marks Thanksgiving



In order to celebrate Thanksgiving, Alaska Governor Sarah Palin today issued what she called "my list of thankfulnesses":

The first thankfulness being that I'm thankful for this turkey, and also too for the metal funnel thingy that cut the turkey's head clean off while it was flapping its wings trying to get out and all. That was fun.

The next thankfulness being that I'm thankful that Levi is going to marry our Bristol, and I'm hoping also that we'll know soon what his location is.

Another thankfulness too being that I'm thankful for Sen. Ted Stevens, because compared to what he did and all it doesn't seem like a big deal if you tried to get some dumb old trooper fired.

My next thankfulness being I have thankfulness for our President-elect Barack Obama, and proudness, too, even though he probably is spending Thanksgiving palling around with Bill Ayres and Osama bin Laden and the Unabomber also.

A darned important thankfulness being I'm sure thankful that when the lawyers from the RNC came to take back all of that clothing they didn't check under Piper's bed. Good job, Piper!

And my last thankfulness, which I saved for last because it is the most important thankfulness, would be the turkey again also. I'm thankful that God created turkeys with so many tiny little bones in them and also too I hope Katie Couric chokes on one.

Borowitz Report

[L.Wood]

.






.

[Dardedar]

.
Video clips: Sarah Palin's greatest hits

[Dardedar]

DAR
This rips right-wing shit heel Mark Halperin too. Great article.

The Most Ridiculous Political Quote of 2008

Money shot:

****
Here now, The Most Ridiculous Political Quote of the Year, courtesy of Sarah Palin on October 4, 2008:

Q: One of the things you talked about last night was the flexibility the vice president has-- PALIN: Yeah.

Q: --Uh. What did you mean by that?

PALIN: Uh. That thankfully our founders were wise enough to say we have this position and it's constitutional -- vice president will be able to be not only the position flexible, but it's gonna be those other duties as assigned by the president. A simple thing.

[Dardedar]

Palin pushes for road to Nome

PIPE DREAM? Project would cost $3 million to $4 million a mile.

By SEAN COCKERHAM

Published: January 31st, 2009

JUNEAU -- Boomers talked for decades about building a road to Nome, an epic 500-mile plus project that would run through some of the most remote wilderness of forest, tundra, rivers and valleys in the world. Now Gov. Sarah Palin, to the dismay of some state legislators, is making a push for what could be a $2 billion project.

Palin highlighted the project in her State of the State speech 10 days ago, declaring that she's pursuing a road to Nome, while in the same speech acknowledging a potential budget shortfall of more than a billion dollars. Some lawmakers are scratching their heads.

...
The governor's office is looking at pursuing multibillion-dollar dam projects as well. This comes as the drop in state oil prices have left the state with a shortfall this year and what could be a $2 billion to $3 billion deficit next year.

Link

DAR
Oh, and: Poll: Majority Of Republicans Want Party To Be More Like Palin

Link

[Doug]

Palin: A Lot of "Thought" Went Into Her Daughter's Name...

From a recent interview with Palin:
==========================
Two meanings in Bristol's name: I worked at the Bristol Inn, and Todd grew up in Bristol Bay. But also, Bristol, Connecticut, is the home of ESPN. And when I was in high school, my desire was to be a sportscaster. ESPN was just kicking off, just getting off the ground, and I thought that's what I was going to do in life, is be one of the first woman sportscasters. Until I learned that you'd have to move to Bristol, Connecticut. It was far away. So instead, I had a daughter and named her Bristol.

See here.

[Dardedar]

Palin Popularity Plunging in Polls

In March 2008, Sarah Palin's combined positives were 85%. Her combined negatives were 12%.

The new Hayes Research polls show the governor at 54% combined approval and 41.6% combined disapproval. 30% of her former fans now boo her.

Huff Po

[Dardedar]

There have been so many lies and distortions pointed out in Sarah Palin's Going Rogue since it was released last week that her memoir has already become something of a gag line.

But perhaps the most embarrassing gaffe so far is her mis-attributed quote to UCLA basketball legend John Wooden.

As the epigram to Chapter Three, "Drill, Baby, Drill," Palin assigns the following remarks to the Hall of Fame hoops coach:

Our land is everything to us... I will tell you one of the things we remember on our land. We remember our grandfathers paid for it--with their lives.

Only the quote wasn't by John Wooden. It was written by a Native American activist named John Wooden Legs in an essay entitled "Back on the War Ponies," which appeared in a left-wing anthology, We Are the People: Voices from the Other Side of American History, edited by Nathaniel May, Clint Willis, and James W. Loewen.

Here's the full quote:

Our land is everything to us. It is the only place in the world where Cheyennes talk the Cheyenne language to each other. It is the only place where Cheyennes remember the same things together. I will tell you one of the things we remember on our land. We remember our grandfathers paid for it--with their life. My people and the Sioux defeated General Custer at the Little Big Horn.

Oops! That's not quite the sentiment that Sister Sarah was trying to convey as she guzzled down sugar-free Red Bull and cranked up Toby Keith's "How Do You Like Me Now?" while jumping on her patriotic high horse at the opening of the third chapter.

There's also no small amount of irony in the quote, given Palin's abysmal record on Alaska Native issues during her truncated term as governor.

Obviously this one slipped by Sister Sarah and her crack team of investigative journalists Lynn Vincent, Meg Stapleton and Ivy Frye, as well as all those dutiful fact checkers at HarperCollins. Obviously, they didn't get the quote from anything Wooden ever wrote, but from a cute little web site called The Quote Garden. Isn't that sweet?

Huff Po

[kwlyon]

Here is the web sight of the channel 5 report of the palincomparison book signing.

http://www.topix.net/forum/source/kfsm/ ... 2#lastPost

Here is the video:

http://www.kfsm.com/news/kfsm-news-sara ... 7044.story

[Doug]

Recently released documents from the custody battle show clearly Tripp Palin Johnston has socialized health care through Indian Health Services and the Alaska Native Medical Center.

See here.

[kwlyon]

http://www.facebook.com/notes/sarah-pal ... 5582403434

Obamacare....Are we not beyond using such rhetoric? Okay in all fairness I call the crazies teabaggers...but there is a good reason for it. Most of these "teabaggers" have no idea what the hell they are supporting. I watched most of the health care summit and it was quite educational (for me). I was very disappointed in McCain at more than one point. I don't know if he is just a sour looser, if he is getting dumber in his old age, or if I simply had too high an opinion of him. It was like listening to kent hovind talk... constant and transparently intentional misdirection of the conversation. How do people not see through this?...They obviously just filibustering and sowing confusion in an attempt to maintain the status quo at any cost. Usually Palin's facebook page is good for a laugh...this one actually kinda pissed me off. Not a mention of anything accomplished...not a mention of WHY little was accomplished. It is clear where the finger needs to be pointed. People need to wake up and do some finger pointing. Healthcare is not the only pressing issue. We need to get this shit done so we can move on to other concerns.

Just my general frustrations...needed a vent.

Kevin

[L.Wood]

...Tea Party-Sarah Palin Fact Checking:


Tea Party Fact-Checking
Palin makes a few errors in her convention speech -- and on Fox News Sunday.

February 8, 2010

A NEW ROUND OF WHOPPERS AWAIT YOU ....Click here.

Summary

Sarah Palin made a splash over the weekend as the keynote speaker at the first National Tea Party convention, and she followed up with an interview on Fox News Sunday. But she didn’t always stick to the facts.

* Palin implied that the Nigerian would-be Christmas Day bomber stopped talking after he was read his Miranda rights. He did, but not for good. He began talking again extensively after counterterrorism agents enlisted the help of his family, and he has provided information on all the subjects Palin mentioned, authorities say.
* Palin stretched the truth when she said that $6 million in stimulus funds went to a Democratic pollster. In fact, only $4.36 million was spent on the contract, which was with the giant public relations firm Burson-Marsteller, where the pollster is CEO.
* Palin repeated her oft-stated, greatly exaggerated claim that Alaska produces 20 percent of the U.S. domestic energy supply. The actual figure is just under 2.9 percent.
* Her claim that the state spent "millions" dealing with ethics complaints against her is one that has been disputed. Her own tally is less than $2 million, and an Anchorage newspaper said most of that was salaries of state workers who would have been paid whether or not Palin was being investigated.

.

[Dardedar]

"...the Sarah Palin blowup doll is known as the “This is NOT Sarah Palin Inflatable Love Doll.” Featuring a busty, conservatively dressed Palin lookalike, the box cover promises: “Cross party lines with your own inflatable running mate!” The political love doll’s suggested uses include: “Blow her up and show her how you’re going to vote,” “Let her pound your gavel over and over,” and “It’s time some male interns caused a scandal in the Capitol.” In addition, the company suggests, the Palin doll could stand in for the candidate at her next debate with Democratic vice presidential candidate Joe Biden. “This blow-up sex doll could really satisfy the swing voters.” Who knew the coming presidential election could be decided by a sex doll?

http://www.thefrisky.com/post/246-sarah ... w-on-sale/